To The Confessional

OK, all you sinners, either single or formerly single, Single Starts with Sin(tm) needs your Confessions. It’s pretty simple, really. If you have a story from your singledom that maybe you’re not too proud of, or quite the contrary, are thrilled to share, head into The Confessional and send it to us. We’ll change your name, swear not to judge and share it with the masses.

We have a hard time believing that you have never committed a “Single” sin, but if you insist that you haven’t, but know someone who has, send them to our blog and tell them to think of submitting their confession as a cleansing for their relationship soul. If you still can’t get them through the door, send us their story from your perspective.

OK, enough said, now my child, tell us your sins!

Coveting – A Bridge Between Single & Non-Single

Today’s confession proves that not all sinners are single, even when they commit their “single type” sins. We would like to reassure today’s sinner that she is certainly not alone. We are all guilty, single or not, of such indiscretions as coveting our butchers, bakers and candlestick makers. So, sinner, no need to ask forgiveness from us, as far as we’re concerned you’re already absolved of your sins. And don’t be too hard on yourself, we’re certain this won’t be the last time you do a little coveting.

Forgive me fellow sinners, for I have sinned. I am guilty of coveting my husband’s and my butcher. I don’t have any intention of acting upon my lust, I just admire how gentle his personality is, the strength of his tall broad frame, his handsome face and crystal clear blue eyes. What concerns me more than my admiration for him is that I’m 33 and he’s 60 years old. I had no idea that he was 60, he looks much younger.

That was a brave confession, so what are you waiting for? Visit The Confessional and tell us your sins.

Absolution for Drake – The Former Single Sinner

Today’s confession comes to us from Drake. Drake is now married and claims to have been 21 when he broke Commandment 4, possibly Commandment 7 (although she wasn’t married), and Commandment 10. He certainly didn’t commit the Sin of Temperance – he was completely Glutinous which we applaud, yet he did commit the Sin of Charity. Even though we find ourselves a bit surprised, OK, more like shocked by his confession we, as always, pass no judgement and assign no penance. We have, on the other hand, decided to start offering single sinner’s absolution for their single sins. So Drake, you’re the first of many who are absolved of your single sins, no matter when they occurred. We hope that you’ll send us more of your stories, because this one is a winner.

My name is Drake and I have been married for 10 years. Years before I met my wife I was in the military (I won’t name which branch) and I had a regular booty call with a girl about my age. She was always there when I “needed” her, even if I had been gone for months, she was only a phone call away. She would come over to my place, we would have sex and she would leave. It really was the perfect relationship for a 21 year old guy. When it came time for me to be discharged it had been a few months since I had seen her. She had heard that I was getting out and decided to stop by for “one last time.” I was shocked to see her standing in my doorway, pregnant. I asked her if the baby was mine. We were always careful and it turns out the timing wasn’t right. She said, “No,” the baby was her boyfriend’s. She said she wanted to have “one last go” with me since she’d probably never see me again. So we did. Like other confessions on your site, I feel weird about this now and wouldn’t do it again, but it didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time.

If you’re not single now, you were and we’re certain you have some sins to confess. Head into The Confessional and send them to us.

Handy Tool That You Can Probably Live Without – But Why Should You?

Whipping one of these out while on a date would make for one hell of a Confession.

(Source: http://www.knockknock.biz/catalog/categories/pads/kk-pads/rate-date-pad/)

Have a funny Single Story or quirky product for Singles? Share it in The Confessional.

He Said WHAT? Tales from Internet Daters

As we’ve said before, we will pass no judgement on this site, but we must admit that we are rather horrified by today’s story that comes to us from www.internetdatingtales.com. We would never list an individual’s weight as a sin, especially since this Planet Beanbag™ employee is heading straight for the treadmill after I’m done posting this, but we really don’t have to look far to count the Sins of this “Casanova” – Pride, Greed…especially his greed for her “virgin bum.” Who says that?! As for Commandments broken, we believe that 6, 7 and 10 are an excellent fit for this situation. Here’s how it goes:

I spoke to a guy on the net for over two months on a daily basis. He kept asking me out from the first time we talked but I told him it was too soon.

 

I asked him if he had a pic and he e-mailed me one. He said he was 5 ft. 10; had dark hair and brown eyes and a moustache. The description matched the pic and I felt satisfied that he was the man in the pic. He said he was ’10 to 15 lbs. overweight’ but I told him I preferred men to be a bit beefy so that was not a problem or concern of mine.

 

When he came to the door, he was 5 ft. 10 and weighed close to 450 lbs. He was HUGE! He hadn’t shaved; he had greasy hair; he wore a golf shirt that was about 3 sizes too small; he wore pants that hung below his waist exposing his enormous stomach. He could barely make it through my enclosed front porch door! He told me how gorgeous I was and how he ‘didn’t want to go out now’ – he wanted to… [You really have to read the rest of this story]

 

 

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The Price of Love – What’s It Worth?

A Denver man is searching for love, and willing to pay big bucks for it. Spike Buckley, www.spikebuckley.com, is in search of a meaningful relationship that, if lasting more than 1 year (or married within that time), he will pay $10,000 to the one who sent the lady to his doorstep. Seems like an honest proposition.

Spike has listed the following desires:

Appearance:

Under 50 years old, 5′ to 6′ tall, weight proportionate, very attractive, toned/athletic build.

Education:

A bachelor degree or higher from a noteworthy school is preferred, but the objective is to find a sharp mind, so there is some flexibility. 

Interests and Personality:

I think common ground is significant in these two categories, particularly the latter. Therefore, the more we have in common probably the better. Having said that, I’m not necessarily looking for my clone. (source: http://www.spikebuckley.com/desires.html)

 

His wants seem reasonable enough, actually, his entire website comes across as an honest man who’s looking to take all the work out of dating…nothing wrong with that. And since you’ll be doing the work for him, he’ll pay you a generous sum. Nothing that you’ll make a living on, but definitely better than a sharp stick in the eye. No Commandments are broken, perhaps a few Sins have been committed (maybe Charity and a little Sloth), but that’s what happens when you’re single.

We can’t help but wonder, is it possible to find a quality person when you’re paying for it? And, what would you pay for the love of your life?

Now it’s your turn. We want to hear your single story or confession. Head into The Confessional and submit your story.

And don’t miss out on the Planet Beanbag™ newsletter. Click here to sign up! 

Booty Call Turned Sticky Note Stalker

Today’s Confession comes to us from Daniel. Apparently Daniel had a regular booty call with a woman a bit older than him during a “dry spell” in his single life. We’re pretty sure she came close to breaking the 6th Commandment for Singles. His story goes like this:

I wasn’t really seeing anyone when Patricia came into my life. When we first met at our neighborhood bar we had a few drinks, she was decently attractive, and we slept together. There were no fireworks between us, but over time we kind of fell into a “booty call” routine. To be perfectly honest, the morning after our first encounter, I realized that I didn’t find her as attractive as I had the previous  night.

 

Time went on, I’d say about a month or so, and we continued to hook up on the weekends and the occasional weekday. About a two weeks or so before I met my now wife, I had placed my usual Friday night call to Patricia. We arranged for me to go to her place that night, around 9 o’clock. We did our deed and I fell asleep. I woke up around 2 or 3 in the morning and decided I should get dressed and go home. Patricia was fast asleep next to me so I moved quietly. It was dark, but the light from the living room gave me enough light to see what I was doing. When I reached for my clothes, that were laying in a pile next to the bed, I discovered a sticky note on top of them. It read, “I love you, Daniel, I really love you.” That was enough to scare the s*** out of me, I was 25 years old and had no idea what love was…but I knew that I didn’t feel it for her. I quickly got dressed, left her apartment and the sticky note, made my way down the stairs and across the parking lot to my car. There on my driver’s side window was another yellow sticky note that read, “I really love you.” I ripped the sticky note from the window, crumpled it up and threw it on the ground. When I got in my car I discovered that she had used my keys, I found another sticky note on my steering wheel that read, “I love you.” My mind went over all the steps she took to leave sticky notes on my clothes, but worse yet, on and in my car, all while I was sleeping. I peeled out of the apartment complex parking lot and never returned.

 

Over the next month, she called me a few times and I didn’t return her calls. My roommate convinced me that I should give her a call and at least tell her that I had a girlfriend, so I did. That’s when Patricia proceeded to tell me that she would always be “available” to me, even if years went by and I was married and my wife wasn’t “putting out” anymore, she would be there for me. I was thoroughly creeped out, but fortunately those feelings don’t last long when you’re 25 and with a new girl.

 

Now it’s your turn. We want to hear your single story or confession. Head into The Confessional and submit your story.

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The Perfect Icebreaker

Our first story comes to us from one of us here at Planet Beanbag™ (Single Starts with Sin™’s parent company).

It was the late 90’s and I was casually dating. One night I was at a small bar shooting pool with friends when a handsome regular approached and asked if he could join our game. It was the usual conversation, nothing spectacular, but he ended up asking me out. “What could it hurt?” I thought to myself. I told him I’d meet him for dinner and a movie. Seemed harmless enough, until dinner. As we sat across from each other tucked away in our very own little booth, he proceeded to explain, “I can’t be alone, I really can’t be alone. But I’m not alone, I’m here with YOU.” I smiled politely and nodded my head. As the server took our order he proceeded to explain to the two of us all about his chicken allergy, hives and all. “So, no chicken for me!” he said with a snicker. I could feel the seconds slowly ticking by on my watch; a constant reminder that I had hours to go.

 

An avid pool player, Mr. Once-Handsome-Now-Annoying asked if I would like to shoot some pool before the movie. What was I going to say? “Sure, I’ll meet you there.” Those were the days of pagers, cell phones were still a bit expensive, so I hoped and prayed for an emergency beep from someone…anyone. The page never came, so I grabbed a cue and chalked the tip. He broke and I heard a ball fall into a pocket. I asked, “are you high balls or low balls?” His reply, “I’m high balls, but you can call me Lefty.” Again, I smiled politely and nodded my head…whatever.

 

As the movie, Titanic, crescendoed, I’ll never forget, he cried on my shoulder. I was so thoroughly turned off and again, was keenly aware of the second ticking by on my watch. We walked out of the theater together and I tried politely to excuse myself to my car. I was still young and perhaps a bit too polite, I didn’t want to be rude…and he could tell. He invited me to the coffee shop right next door for some coffee. A string of profanities went through my head, any decline I made would make it obvious that I was trying to escape his company, so I said, “I’ll have one and then I’ve got to be heading home.”

 

The waitress poured our coffee and set the carafe on the table. That’s when he hit me with a zinger. He leaned across the table and said in a somewhat quiet voice, “So, you’re probably wondering why I said for you to call me Lefty earlier.” I had honestly forgotten all about that, “No, not really.” It was almost as though he didn’t even hear me respond as he just continued. “You see, I only have one testicle.” What the F was I supposed to say to THAT?!?! I opted for a simple “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” He continued and told me the w-h-o-l-e story. “You see, I lived in Michigan and rode a motorcycle. I was visiting my girlfriend and by the time I left the temperature had dropped so much that the seat to my bike was freezing. I sat on the seat and my testicles retracted to stay warm, well, when they came back down, one got twisted and I had to go have emergency surgery. I ended up losing the testicle.”

 

On my drive home all I could say to myself was, “How the F did I get myself into THAT?” Needless to say, that was our last date.

Now it’s your turn. We want to hear your single story or confession. Head into The Confessional and submit your story.

And don’t miss out on the Planet Beanbag™ newsletter. Click here to sign up!